It occurred to me that I never talked about the day that I knew I had to end my last relationship. And that Bryant inadvertently pushed me over the edge.
Around March 2013, it was my last semester of law school and I had this massive symposium for my legal clinic that I was hosting for hundreds of professionals. I was overwhelmed. My boyfriend and I had been dating for about 18 months at the time, and the past 3 months he had checked out. He hadn’t touched me, he rarely wanted to come over, he hated giving me compliments bc he said they were corny. But I held on bc he KEPT promising he would do better….sigh.
Anyway, around this time, Bryant and I would skype every few days. We still loved each other from all those years ago but it was platonic between us. I’d ask for advice on my relationship and I’d vent and I’d cry to him about how stressed I was bc my boyfriend wasn’t trying to hear it.
One day he told me that he needed a recommendation for a job and that he had a form fedexed to me and said I needed to pick it up so I rushed home and found the edible arrangement with the card attached. I was initially surprised bc I thought they were from my boyfriend who did something nice for once - when I saw they were from Bryant, I was initially disappointed. But I read the card and I was so happy and called my mom and she was like WHY ARENT YOU DATING HIM and I called Bryant and thanked him profusely….and I hid the card in case my boyfriend came.
I kept replaying in my mind the disappointment when I realized that it wasn’t from my boyfriend. I’m not necessary a gift whore but my boyfriend in our relationship, had never surprised me with anything. He said getting me flowers was meaningless and overrated….so I just let it be. He never sent anything just because. He didn’t even stop by and SEE ME just because. So for Bryant to talk to me, know how frustrated I was, and was kind enough to send me that bc it would make my day totally blew my mind. THAT was the type of love I should be used to. I just not necessarily expect, but be accustomed to gifts when I need a boost or flowers or candy or just time and energy when I am low. My boyfriend let another man slip in and take his spot.
And when he came over later and I told them that it was from Bryant, he said oh, cool, and didn’t blink. I was like does that make you uncomfortable? He said no. I asked him why he had never done something kind for me like that, and I will never forget the way he ROLLED HIS EYES and said “I already got you. I’m putting in the work to keep you just by coming over here.”
I cried that night.
Bryant’s token of love and support JOLTED me. The relationship I was in was a hell of my own making. And it wasn’t until the end of September that I was brave enough to walk away, but the day his gift came, a light bulb came on. And you can’t go back in the dark after you’ve seen the light.
Even God’s placement of Bryant in that point in my life…..none of it is coincidental. I’m so appreciative that He has lead us back to each other, day by day. That day didn’t make me consider Bryant romantically, but it started the process of preparing my heart to let go of the love I never had so that I could receive the love I had always deserved a year later.
…and I still saved the card, scruffymacgoogler. It was the sweetest part.💗